For counselling to be helpful, the trust created by counsellor/client confidentiality is crucial.  That means that no one – not a secretary, supervisor, friend, or even a life partner – is to become aware of private matters that are shared in mutual trust.  A breach of confidentiality could be devastating to a client, particularly if deeply personal information somehow becomes part of the gossip-crazed general culture.

All Registered Clinical Counsellors are bound by ethical guidelines about confidentiality.  Anything you tell a counsellor is kept strictly confidential unless you authorize it otherwise in writing.  Only if a client is threatening harm, if child abuse is suspected, or if the counsellor is subpoenaed to court, is it mandatory to share confidential information with the appropriate authorities.

A Registered Clinical Counsellor can be trusted to keep your information confidential.

Depression is very common.  Often people don’t know what to say, and offer such advice as,Just get over it…. Think more positively… or Stop being so negative… which, while well intentioned, only serves to leave the person feeling more isolated and alone.

It helps to learn about depression, and websites such as www.depressionhurts.ca can be helpful. Emotional suffering is caused by many biological, psychological, and environmental factors, and a high percentage of depression is situational.  Depression is not something a person can simply shake, or think their way out of, and thankfully, most depression can be effectively treated. People need to be encouraged to ask for help from a professional.

Listening with compassion, helping with practical tasks, and generosity of friendship are other good ways to show your concern and help your friend or loved one.

When we first fall in love, we see all the positive attributes of our partner and things we have in common.  It’s a truly magical time, full of passion, romance, exuberance and joy, and sometimes with little “due diligence.”   Over time, however, we begin to see the other’s failings, idiosyncrasies, and all the things that will drive us crazy over the years.  Sometimes we wonder if we’ve made a mistake.

The strongest marriages are those where people remain committed to love each other, even though there may be things we don’t like about our partner.   Keeping love alive means accepting our partner for who he or she is, supporting their dreams, deepening the relationship by dealing honestly with even the most difficult issues, and tenderly nurturing each other.

Unsure about your relationship?  Take the first step, and Talk to Fran.

Long-term results are what we all want.  Many of my clients have good success with Internal Family Systems (IFS), a relatively new model of psychotherapy for both individuals and couples.

IFS is becoming a widely recognized, innovative approach to many human problems.  Symptoms are not merely managed, but all parts of the human system are heard, comforted, and healed by the person himself or herself.  Couples can more easily see the dance of old patterns between them and replace criticism and blame with greater compassion for each other, creating meaningful, long-lasting change in their relationship.

Over the last two years, I have trained in IFS and now use it extensively.  I see great results with people suffering from a wide variety of concerns such as anxiety, depression, stress, and trauma.  IFS is also a wonderful tool for relationships and personal growth.

Many people struggle with the Holidays – for lots of different reasons.  Family events such as the death or loss of someone close, a divorce, or a move can make the Holidays difficult.  A surprising number of people have bad memories of past holidays spoiled by family conflicts or addictions, while others have no family and feel desperately alone.  It’s impossible to look forward to something that brings up feelings of fear, helplessness, or loneliness.

Here’s my advice:  Acknowledge whatever you feel, and then make a plan.  This may be a year when you do things differently.  It’s quite okay to plan something very simple.  Chances are you’ll feel more at peace with yourself and a comfort in the knowledge that you’re taking charge rather than letting others dictate what you should do or feel.

If you need help to get through this Holiday season, talk to Fran.

As a matter of fact, yes.  (Sorry, singles!)  Time and again, research has shown that overall, people who are married are happier than those who are not.   Taking that one step further… the happiest marriages are those where the quality of the marital friendship is high.  In other words, being each other’s “best friend” contributes significantly to happiness, as couples travel through life’s ups and downs together.  Being each other’s “best friend” requires trustworthiness, honesty, time, and attentiveness.  What is the best gift you can give your spouse or partner?  Your love and friendship!  Treat your partner like your best friend!

Nights are cooler, days are noticeably shorter.  September is the time when school, activities, and programs gear up again, bringing both angst and enthusiasm.

The simplest advice is often the best.  Here’s mine:  Be kind, both to others around you, and to yourself.  When stressed with a new situation or environment, people look for connection with others.  Kindness helps to make that connection, whether it’s letting someone else go ahead in a line-up, paying for another’s coffee, or offering a smile and gentle hello.

Remember to be kind to yourself too.  Give yourself space and time to adjust to new places and new people.  A gentle act of kindness towards another person can also be a gift to yourself.

When you’re looking for connection this fall, try kindness.  If you’re struggling, there is always something you can do.

Take the first step — Talk to Fran.

Many people struggle with how to be authentic in expressing feelings. Here’s one simple way to start. Eliminate the word “but” from you vocabulary. Many people struggle with how to be authentic in expressing feelings. Here’s one simple way to start. Eliminate the word “but” from you vocabulary. Here’s one simple way to start. Eliminate the word “but” from you vocabulary. Many people struggle with how to be authentic in expressing feelings. Here’s one simple way to start. Eliminate the word “but” from you vocabulary.